Should married couples have separate bank accounts?
Once you get married, no law states you must share a bank account with your spouse. While this is a common financial move, some couples choose separate bank accounts instead.
In fact, a study in the Journal of Consumer Research revealed that while 52% to 65% of newlyweds use joint accounts, 10% to 15% maintain separate accounts, and the remaining respondents take a hybrid approach with both separate and joint accounts.
So, if you’ve tied the knot, you may be asking yourself: “Should married couples have separate bank accounts?” The answer varies and depends on your unique situation, goals, and personal preferences. Let’s dive deeper into this topic so you can decide whether it makes sense to be married with separate bank accounts or to combine your finances.
Understanding banking options for married couples
As a married couple, you can choose from a few banking arrangements: fully joint accounts, fully separate accounts, or a hybrid approach. Banks offer a variety of account options to accommodate these different approaches for married couples. Here’s a closer look at each one:
Fully joint accounts
With fully joint accounts, you and your spouse combine all of your finances. A joint bank account allows both partners to manage shared finances together, often making it easier to pay bills, handle household expenses, and work toward common financial goals.
Fully separate accounts
Fully separate accounts mean that you and your partner maintain completely separate finances. Each person has their own individual accounts, with no merging or sharing of funds. This approach allows both partners to manage their own money independently without combining income or expenses.
Hybrid approach
The hybrid approach is where you both have separate accounts, but there is also at least one joint account in the mix. While you each have your own pools of money for individual expenses, the shared account is what you use to cover joint expenses, such as your mortgage and bills, for example.
Benefits of separate bank accounts in marriage
As with any financial move, separate bank accounts come with several noteworthy advantages, including:
Financial independence and autonomy
Having separate bank accounts allows each spouse to maintain control over their personal income. “Each person can save or spend freely without judgment or another person micromanaging what they do with their income,” says Brett Daniel, founder of Daniel Safe Money Retirement Solutions. “They can spend big or small and enjoy luxuries and/or hobbies without justification.”
Separate accounts can also make it easier to surprise your spouse with trips and gifts. You won’t have to worry about them seeing the transactions you’ve made ahead of time from a joint account.
Simplified money management and bill payment
Separate accounts can offer a streamlined approach to money management, especially when you and your spouse agree right off the bat about who pays which bills and when. Having a clear plan for how you pay bills helps ensure household expenses are managed efficiently and can reduce confusion over financial responsibilities. “There may be fewer fights over ‘excessive spending’ or judgments on how many coffees are purchased or snacks from the gas station,” explains Daniel.
Protection from financial secrets or mismanagement
Some people save aggressively, while others spend more freely. Having separate accounts allows each person to manage their money freely. “If one spouse tends to poorly manage the credit and debits within their own account and overdrafts frequently, having separate accounts protects the other’s credit and finances from being negatively affected,” says Daniel. Additionally, separate accounts can help shield one spouse from the other’s existing or future debt, preventing creditors from accessing joint funds. This can alleviate a lot of stress and conflict in a marriage.
Advantages of joint bank accounts for married couples
Combining your finances with your partner with joint accounts, rather than separating everything, also has its upsides, such as:
Transparency and shared financial goals
Perhaps the greatest benefit of merging your financial life with your spouse is building trust through financial openness. For spouses, transparency and aligning on shared financial goals are crucial for fostering trust and effective money management within a marriage. “I recommend that younger couples just starting out combine their finances. It is important for both partners to understand their finances and set long-term goals,” says Robert Rickey, certified financial planner and chief growth officer at StraightLine, a financial investment management firm. Without shared finances, there may be no clear path to financial success going forward.
Convenience for household expenses
In addition to transparency, joint accounts can simplify household expense management and make it easier to track family spending. There’s no question about who is paying for what because all expenses are covered through shared accounts. This is especially helpful when it comes to paying bills, as joint accounts allow both partners to contribute and manage bill payments together, reducing confusion and ensuring all shared financial responsibilities are met. Nobody has to keep tabs on who paid for more or less, and reimbursements aren’t required. If you have children (or plan to have them), you may find that shared accounts are simply more convenient because you don’t have to figure out how all of their expenses are handled. Your joint accounts cover all their needs and wants.
Legal and practical benefits
At the end of the day, financial emergencies like car repairs and medical bills are bound to happen. Whether they pop up and affect you, your partner, or both, having joint accounts allows for immediate access to funds without any debates or confusion. Also, in the unfortunate event of one partner’s incapacity or death, separate accounts can alleviate a lot of stress and streamline the process of estate management. From a legal perspective, separate accounts are the better move. However, sometimes, the right financial strategy for your relationship is more about emotions and personal preferences than practicality.
Hybrid approaches: Combining joint and separate accounts
In some cases, the hybrid approach is ideal as it can allow you and your partner to enjoy the perks of both separate and joint bank accounts.
The “yours, mine, and ours” banking strategy
“It may be best to have separate accounts with the added benefit of each contributing half of the monthly bills into a joint account,” advises Daniel. “This way each person makes an equal contribution to the monthly debts while also being able to save or spend freely after the monthly obligations are met.” Partners can also contribute to a joint account to reach shared financial goals, ensuring both are actively involved in managing mutual expenses.
Maintaining individual bank accounts and credit cards for personal spending, separate from joint financial assets, can allow both you and your partner to retain or develop a degree of financial independence. “When done responsibly, this approach fosters equality, autonomy, and mutual understanding, strengthening the partnership and supporting a healthier, more resilient relationship,” notes Rickey.
Implementing a successful hybrid system
If you decide to take the plunge and follow a hybrid approach to your finances, set up a joint account for shared expenses such as gas, groceries, housing, childcare, vacations, cell phone bills, insurance, and even retirement savings. Creating new accounts or financial structures can help support this hybrid approach, making it easier to coordinate and track shared and individual expenses.
“There could be an equal split or proportional to income split if one of you makes more than the other. This can be customized depending on what each of you believe is fair,” says Daniel. Whatever you do, set spending boundaries and stick to them. For example, if there is a need for a new dishwasher, lawn mower, or a shared living expense that exceeds $500 or more, you may want to tackle it together.
It’s also wise to set aside a “no questions asked” amount of money for each partner. “This gives each spouse freedom to spend on personal wants without guilt or judgment. It helps avoid unnecessary conflicts over small purchases, whether it’s coffee, golf or a new pair of shoes, and it keeps the focus on shared financial goals, rather than micromanaging each other’s spending,” explains Shawna Bieda, certified financial planner and senior wealth advisor at XML Financial Group.
Also, be flexible and adjust your system as your unique circumstances and priorities evolve over time. Your financial life as a newlywed will look very different from when you have children or approach retirement, so regularly revisiting and refining your banking strategy is essential to maintaining harmony and meeting your shared goals.
How to decide what’s right for your marriage
The ideal banking arrangement for your neighbor may not make sense for you. After all, there is no “right” or “wrong” way to manage finances in your marriage. It all comes down to what you both believe is the best decision for your particular lifestyle and goals. Striking the right balance is key to ensuring fairness and stability in your chosen financial arrangement. As long as you’re both on the same page, you can find success, no matter which option you choose. If you’re unsure of what to do or would like some guidance, don’t hesitate to consult a financial planner or advisor.
Is it normal for married couples to have separate accounts?
While research shows that joint accounts are more popular than separate accounts, this doesn’t really matter. “Normal” varies by relationship, so it’s all about what you and your couple want and prefer to do. Keeping finances separate can help maintain financial independence and clarity, making it easier to manage individual responsibilities and reduce potential conflicts. Regardless of what you choose, remember that communication is key.
Steps to implement your chosen banking system
Once you decide on a separate, joint, or hybrid strategy, follow these steps to implement it:
- Look at your current accounts: Chances are you both already have some accounts open. Jot them down and figure out which ones you want to keep open and which ones you are ready to close.
- Shop around: Not all bank accounts are created equal. That’s why you should both shop around and explore account options at various financial institutions. Compare fees, features, and benefits.
- Take your time: A new financial strategy doesn’t happen overnight. Sit down with your partner to finalize your plan and address one another’s concerns, questions, and hesitations with kindness and compassion. No matter what you decide to do, you’re a team that must work together to achieve a happy and financially secure partnership.
Compare savings accounts
Navigating financial disagreements
Finances can quickly become a point of contention in a marriage. The good news is that solid communication may go a long way and prevent this issue or significantly reduce its risk. “Whether you spend or save separately from your spouse, it’s a good idea to schedule regular ‘money dates’ on a monthly or quarterly basis to discuss spending, evaluate how contributions are working, and make necessary adjustments,” says Daniel. Taking time to openly discuss each other’s spending habits can help you understand individual financial behaviors and prevent conflicts before they arise.
If you’re struggling due to different money management styles or are unsure of how to resolve certain financial issues in your marriage, financial counseling may be worthwhile. An experienced professional with a non-biased, objective point of view can alleviate financial challenges and provide strategies that set you both up for success in the future.
Addressing trust issues related to finances
“Having a healthy financial relationship is just as important as maintaining a healthy lifestyle through proper nutrition and exercise. A healthy marriage means being honest and open with one another, especially when it comes to finances,” says Daniel.
It’s also wise to plan for the worst-case scenario by putting safeguards in place, such as separate accounts or clear agreements, to protect both partners in the event of a relationship breakdown.
If you get into a money-related conflict, work on figuring out an amicable resolution as soon as possible so you can both move forward. In some cases, compromises may be uncomfortable but necessary to strengthen your bond and foster mutual respect.
Your unique marriage will dictate whether separate accounts will work
For some couples, going against the “status quo” with separate bank accounts may be a solid choice. Other couples, however, might find joint accounts or a hybrid approach to be a better fit. If you’re unsure of what you want or need to do to achieve a strong, financially secure marriage, make a pros and cons list of every option. Then, choose the strategy that will clearly offer the most benefits for your unique relationship.
